This blog, "The View From The Pew" is done.
I started this blog as a protest of sorts to the fact that my church doesn't approve of my living with my girlfriend. To that end I must apologize and let the matter rest.
It's not my choices that I'm apologizing for. I've not changed my mind on what I think, or my personal motivations for why I've chosen this path, or why Alene and I continue to believe we are doing the right thing.
I am apologizing for thinking I could, or should, expect anyone else agree with my reasons. I am apologizing for the passive/aggressive anger this blog represents, and for my arrogance in thinking I am more important than I am.
Here's the black and white. Alene and I made a choice some time ago commit our lives to each other. As life developed and circumstances warranted, we moved in together and are happy as could be. We are adults, freely making a choice with a clear conscience and joyous hearts. Circumstances notwithstanding, we are, in our minds, following the path God laid out for us to the best of our ability. It's not anyone else's path. It's ours. I don't recommend anyone follow any path but the one God lays out for you.
Being able to admit that leads me to close this blog. I have no need to justify myself to anyone: indeed I should not try. I don't say that as a challenge or a statement of rebellious pride. It is simply a fact. We are not asking anyone for approval, nor are we expecting support. We've made a choice.
We also acknowledge that we freely joined a church which has a specific set of beliefs, which we, despite what some may think, still cling to. I know what the Bible teaches, and although I am convinced beyond doubt that God has blessed my path and I am not walking in violation of God's law, I understand others don't feel that way. We have decided to submit graciously to the expectations and desires of our church family, which has had a long tradition of teaching against living together before marriage. I desire that none be distracted from Christ by arguing the matter, where indeed there is nothing to argue.
I desire only that God use me and Alene wherever He puts us. I am convinced more than ever that a position in organized leadership is not the only way to serve God, and in fact, such positions can sometimes put restrictions on how we serve God. Expectations and appearances are too often maintained so as not to offend, as opposed to being honest. Serving without such restrictions or expectations can been liberating.
Please accept my apology for my attitude and bitterness for a season. I take responsibility for my choices, and although I may have harbored some ill will when I began this blog, I don't any longer.
Jesus said the world would know His disciples by our love for one another. That's what I want the world to see.
To that end, I say adieu to this journal .
Join me at my original journal, Wild At Heart, and see what God has in store!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
Religiosity
I'm really surprised at the narrow mindedness of some American christians. The "religiosity" and judgmentalness evident in many churches is somewhat disheartening.
That's one of the reason my dad doesn't like "church" much. Don't get me wrong, he's a born-again believer in Jesus, served on the board of trustees of several churches he's attended, taught Bible studies, and believes in God as his creator, savior, and shepherd. But at many churches, too much attention is given to the "religion" of the church, trying to follow rules and create the right image, when the real truth of "religion" - faith - is in the heart, and with God.
My dad loves God. He lives his faith, but he doesn't like "religion".
And I'm coming more and more to understand his point.
I do believe the Bible is the inerrant Word of God on this earth. In it is the whole of wisdom that God judged would be sufficient for mankind to read, see His hand in the words, get to know Him, and thereby learn to love and worship Him. Its the story of God's love for man, and man's search for God. Jesus' death and resurrection is the culmination of the story, and the pinnacle of God's love revealed for us.
I believe that faith in God alone is what saves a person. Jesus gave himself a sacrifice for all people, was raised from the dead to prove he was God and was sent from God, and by that sacrifice we can be assured that God will do what Jesus said: forgive our sin, and justify us to Himself for eternity.
With the faith that God gives me as his child, I can say God loves me. He called me and I responded. I tell others about Him, they hear God call, then they respond, and so on.
That's God's will for us here on earth. Its not complicated. It's not hard to understand. It's very simple. Love the Lord God with all your heart, and love one another as yourself.
Its the "how" of loving each other that I think we get tangled up over.
I think we complicate things in our churches. Jesus said, "they (the world) will know you are my disciples by your love for one another". Again, a very simple concept. Our love for one another is to be displayed differently from how people in the "world" show love for one another.
We, the body of Christ, are to be patient with one another, gentle, slow to anger, quick to listen, strong in shoulder and long in embrace. We are to be slow to judge, quick to forgive, and show deep understanding in our consideration for each other.
One way to love one another, perhaps the best way, is to get to know one another. Walk a mile with each other in each other's shoes. Share our story with each other, and get to know what makes each other move and breathe. Get into each other's lives and see what each other's lives are all about. Help one another, serve one another, and truly love one another.
The problem is that most of us don't really seem to want to get to know each other very well.
Most of us don't want to put in the enormous effort to spend time with someone to get to know them. Its true, getting to know someone takes time, patience, and energy most of us would rather expend on something else, like ourselves. Most of us are, at heart, somewhat selfish people. (Don't be afraid to admit it, because deep down you know it's true, and to say otherwise is a lie. Just have someone show you a picture of yourself and 5 other people. Who do you look for first in the photo? Yourself, every time. It's how we're wired, so don't kick yourself for it, just accept it.) Selfishness is very easy. Selflessness takes work, that's why Jesus preached so hard on it. That's why getting to know each other is so important, and why so many of us find it hard to do.
The other reason, and probably the larger one, is that most of us really don't want people to get to now us very well. We're afraid others might not like what they see, and we'd embarrassed and ashamed of what our lives are like in the real world. In the real world we have blemishes and scars and unseemly behaviors we'd rather not show to our church.
Mainly because our churches are pretty judgmental places.
You see, "church" isn't the real world. Church, the gathering together of a congregation on Sunday morning, is often the most phony place you can be on any given day.
Although our churches should be safe havens for Christians, (a place where we can come and be honest about who we are and be accepted and loved sometimes in spite of who we are), oddly enough church is the place where many people put on their phoniest face of the week. We spend usually one day a week, sometimes two, at church, dressing up nice, brushing our teeth, watching our language, and smiling at our fellow churchgoers, while we spend the other six days being the "real" us: cursing, yelling at our kids and spouses, being angry with co-workers, impatient and unkind to neighbors, filling our heads with foul things from television and movies, ..... well, I could go on but you get my drift.
Why do we do this? Why are we so incredibly dishonest and phony with each other?
I think its because we're afraid. Afraid of being judged.
Afraid of being thought "unChristian", or sinful, or dirty, or ashamed, because most of us don't want to be "that" kind of person, we just are! Like Paul talks about in Romans 7, we haven't yet figured out how to let God transform us into a "fruit of the spirit" type of person, and we find ourselves being this person we don't want to be.
We feel like we're failed Christians in a sea of Christian titans, figuring everyone else has it right but me, but the truth is, some of the titans are as screwed up and confused as anyone at church, hiding and faking their way through Sunday after Sunday just like the rest of us.
And I lay this glaring dysfunction - this feeling that many of my beloved churchgoing fellow believers have, that in order to come to church and be a part of the body, they have to cover up the truth of their life - I lay this dysfunction directly at the feet of the leaders of our churches. Some of the titans have simply learned how to play the church game better than others, and this dishonesty hinders honest seekers looking for understanding and encouragement.
This is sad, folks.
Church should be our safe haven. Church should be the place where our brokenness is repaired, and our weakness is strengthened. Church should be where God shows his undying love to His world through his children - us. Churches should be a place where fear of honesty is abolished, shame in asking for help should evaporate and embarrassment over our shortcoming should disappear. Church should be a place where the shocking is not shocking, and the scandalous is not scandalous, and no one looks askance at anyone for who they are, because where honesty exists, shock and scandal do not exist, and askance glances vanish.
And if we can't do this in our own churches, if we can't love one another with the love of Christ and show patience with one other for our "real" lives, if we don't love each other differently, why should the world give a damn about what we preach or what the Bible says?
No one cares what you know until they know that you care. (Not mine, not original, but a good thought.)
Please don't take this as a repudiation of all churches, or even my home church. This piece is a statement on the condition I see of American Christianity in general. But if I were a betting man, I'd say there are lots of people who feel this way at every church, including my own. We're human, and no one is perfect or immune to the human condition.
However, I my heart is buoyed, and my soul given joy at the Christians I do know in my own church who do make it a point to get to know people, and who do love one another in a different way, the way Christ asked his disciples to love one another. They are the proof of the thesis of God's love, and for them I truly give thanks to my Lord. They are the salt of the earth and the lights of our congregations, and I pray daily that they'd continue the good work God has given them. They are the folks who will help the rest of us to learn how to love.
As for myself, I have shortcomings in this "get to know each other" department. I'm not perfect or immune to the things I write about. I'm hard to get to know, and I have a hard time getting to know people. It's true, and I'm working on that. But I do have a passion for loving one another with patience and gentleness, and encouraging each other wherever possible. God give us the gifts He wants us to have. Use them where ever God puts you.
My prayer is that we, as a church in general, would be less judgmental and more honest with each other. Yes, its hard work, and it's a labor, but people, we must do this if the world is going to see anything different in our lives.
Next time you are at church, try giving each other more than a phony "Hello, how are you today?" Take a chance and ask, "How's life really treating you?" and prepare to give a few minutes to listen! Take the time to be an ear, to listen to someone who's lonely, to hug someone who's sad, or laugh with someone who's happy. Then, try it at work! Or at the grocery store! Or even... gulp... at home!
Then, be prepared when someone says to you, "How's life really treating you?" to really tell them the good, the bad, and the ugly, and see how that goes. I pray you'd be surprised.
My prayer is that God would move in our churches generally, and in my home church specifically, spurring us on to real love for each other.
No politics. No games. No phoniness and no fear.
After all, perfect love casts our fear. God's love for us casts out our fear of life and living for God. Likewise, a man who is loved, truly loved, by his friends has nothing to fear from those that love him.
James 1:27 says, "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."
Loving God and loving one another. That's what God's will is all about.
That's one of the reason my dad doesn't like "church" much. Don't get me wrong, he's a born-again believer in Jesus, served on the board of trustees of several churches he's attended, taught Bible studies, and believes in God as his creator, savior, and shepherd. But at many churches, too much attention is given to the "religion" of the church, trying to follow rules and create the right image, when the real truth of "religion" - faith - is in the heart, and with God.
My dad loves God. He lives his faith, but he doesn't like "religion".
And I'm coming more and more to understand his point.
I do believe the Bible is the inerrant Word of God on this earth. In it is the whole of wisdom that God judged would be sufficient for mankind to read, see His hand in the words, get to know Him, and thereby learn to love and worship Him. Its the story of God's love for man, and man's search for God. Jesus' death and resurrection is the culmination of the story, and the pinnacle of God's love revealed for us.
I believe that faith in God alone is what saves a person. Jesus gave himself a sacrifice for all people, was raised from the dead to prove he was God and was sent from God, and by that sacrifice we can be assured that God will do what Jesus said: forgive our sin, and justify us to Himself for eternity.
With the faith that God gives me as his child, I can say God loves me. He called me and I responded. I tell others about Him, they hear God call, then they respond, and so on.
That's God's will for us here on earth. Its not complicated. It's not hard to understand. It's very simple. Love the Lord God with all your heart, and love one another as yourself.
Its the "how" of loving each other that I think we get tangled up over.
I think we complicate things in our churches. Jesus said, "they (the world) will know you are my disciples by your love for one another". Again, a very simple concept. Our love for one another is to be displayed differently from how people in the "world" show love for one another.
We, the body of Christ, are to be patient with one another, gentle, slow to anger, quick to listen, strong in shoulder and long in embrace. We are to be slow to judge, quick to forgive, and show deep understanding in our consideration for each other.
One way to love one another, perhaps the best way, is to get to know one another. Walk a mile with each other in each other's shoes. Share our story with each other, and get to know what makes each other move and breathe. Get into each other's lives and see what each other's lives are all about. Help one another, serve one another, and truly love one another.
The problem is that most of us don't really seem to want to get to know each other very well.
Most of us don't want to put in the enormous effort to spend time with someone to get to know them. Its true, getting to know someone takes time, patience, and energy most of us would rather expend on something else, like ourselves. Most of us are, at heart, somewhat selfish people. (Don't be afraid to admit it, because deep down you know it's true, and to say otherwise is a lie. Just have someone show you a picture of yourself and 5 other people. Who do you look for first in the photo? Yourself, every time. It's how we're wired, so don't kick yourself for it, just accept it.) Selfishness is very easy. Selflessness takes work, that's why Jesus preached so hard on it. That's why getting to know each other is so important, and why so many of us find it hard to do.
The other reason, and probably the larger one, is that most of us really don't want people to get to now us very well. We're afraid others might not like what they see, and we'd embarrassed and ashamed of what our lives are like in the real world. In the real world we have blemishes and scars and unseemly behaviors we'd rather not show to our church.
Mainly because our churches are pretty judgmental places.
You see, "church" isn't the real world. Church, the gathering together of a congregation on Sunday morning, is often the most phony place you can be on any given day.
Although our churches should be safe havens for Christians, (a place where we can come and be honest about who we are and be accepted and loved sometimes in spite of who we are), oddly enough church is the place where many people put on their phoniest face of the week. We spend usually one day a week, sometimes two, at church, dressing up nice, brushing our teeth, watching our language, and smiling at our fellow churchgoers, while we spend the other six days being the "real" us: cursing, yelling at our kids and spouses, being angry with co-workers, impatient and unkind to neighbors, filling our heads with foul things from television and movies, ..... well, I could go on but you get my drift.
Why do we do this? Why are we so incredibly dishonest and phony with each other?
I think its because we're afraid. Afraid of being judged.
Afraid of being thought "unChristian", or sinful, or dirty, or ashamed, because most of us don't want to be "that" kind of person, we just are! Like Paul talks about in Romans 7, we haven't yet figured out how to let God transform us into a "fruit of the spirit" type of person, and we find ourselves being this person we don't want to be.
We feel like we're failed Christians in a sea of Christian titans, figuring everyone else has it right but me, but the truth is, some of the titans are as screwed up and confused as anyone at church, hiding and faking their way through Sunday after Sunday just like the rest of us.
And I lay this glaring dysfunction - this feeling that many of my beloved churchgoing fellow believers have, that in order to come to church and be a part of the body, they have to cover up the truth of their life - I lay this dysfunction directly at the feet of the leaders of our churches. Some of the titans have simply learned how to play the church game better than others, and this dishonesty hinders honest seekers looking for understanding and encouragement.
This is sad, folks.
Church should be our safe haven. Church should be the place where our brokenness is repaired, and our weakness is strengthened. Church should be where God shows his undying love to His world through his children - us. Churches should be a place where fear of honesty is abolished, shame in asking for help should evaporate and embarrassment over our shortcoming should disappear. Church should be a place where the shocking is not shocking, and the scandalous is not scandalous, and no one looks askance at anyone for who they are, because where honesty exists, shock and scandal do not exist, and askance glances vanish.
And if we can't do this in our own churches, if we can't love one another with the love of Christ and show patience with one other for our "real" lives, if we don't love each other differently, why should the world give a damn about what we preach or what the Bible says?
No one cares what you know until they know that you care. (Not mine, not original, but a good thought.)
Please don't take this as a repudiation of all churches, or even my home church. This piece is a statement on the condition I see of American Christianity in general. But if I were a betting man, I'd say there are lots of people who feel this way at every church, including my own. We're human, and no one is perfect or immune to the human condition.
However, I my heart is buoyed, and my soul given joy at the Christians I do know in my own church who do make it a point to get to know people, and who do love one another in a different way, the way Christ asked his disciples to love one another. They are the proof of the thesis of God's love, and for them I truly give thanks to my Lord. They are the salt of the earth and the lights of our congregations, and I pray daily that they'd continue the good work God has given them. They are the folks who will help the rest of us to learn how to love.
As for myself, I have shortcomings in this "get to know each other" department. I'm not perfect or immune to the things I write about. I'm hard to get to know, and I have a hard time getting to know people. It's true, and I'm working on that. But I do have a passion for loving one another with patience and gentleness, and encouraging each other wherever possible. God give us the gifts He wants us to have. Use them where ever God puts you.
My prayer is that we, as a church in general, would be less judgmental and more honest with each other. Yes, its hard work, and it's a labor, but people, we must do this if the world is going to see anything different in our lives.
Next time you are at church, try giving each other more than a phony "Hello, how are you today?" Take a chance and ask, "How's life really treating you?" and prepare to give a few minutes to listen! Take the time to be an ear, to listen to someone who's lonely, to hug someone who's sad, or laugh with someone who's happy. Then, try it at work! Or at the grocery store! Or even... gulp... at home!
Then, be prepared when someone says to you, "How's life really treating you?" to really tell them the good, the bad, and the ugly, and see how that goes. I pray you'd be surprised.
My prayer is that God would move in our churches generally, and in my home church specifically, spurring us on to real love for each other.
No politics. No games. No phoniness and no fear.
After all, perfect love casts our fear. God's love for us casts out our fear of life and living for God. Likewise, a man who is loved, truly loved, by his friends has nothing to fear from those that love him.
James 1:27 says, "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."
Loving God and loving one another. That's what God's will is all about.
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